I’m in my house, applying makeup, listening to the radio and trying to get ready for work. I listen to this radio show every single day and, like so many people, you get to really understand and care about the radio personalities that pipe into your life every morning.
Well on this radio show, one of the hosts has just had a baby. She is about my age and decided with her husband to have one more before it was ‘too late’. I have to be honest, I have tried desperately to quell my feelings of jealousy over these past 9 months as we have all listened to her share about the ups and downs of her pregnancy, and now birth of her beautiful little boy. I want so much to be happy for her. I want so much to think all positive things for her. And all I can think is why her and not me? Why does she get the healthy baby? She has another child already. I have none now.
At one point in my life, I was looking after this really horrible woman. She was older and alone and that is most likely because she pushed everyone in her life away with her just plain awfulness. One day my son said to me “Mom, why are you so nice to her? Why do you put up with all of her crazy demands?’ I replied, “Well, I figure that it’s good Karma. She doesn’t have anyone else and if I’m nice to her then maybe when I am all old and alone that someone will be nice to me.’. My son looked at me in astonishment. “You don’t have to worry about that, Mom. You will always have me.”
You will always have me. You will always have me.
22 years and 6 months was not ‘always’.
22 years and 6 months was not nearly enough time at all.